Why I’ve Been Silent All These Years
This was my favorite love letter to write.
To you, my dear friends, I would scribe these meticulously crafted missives sometimes with my fists clenched standing on a soapbox, other times with my heart streaming, and even on occasion, through misty, repentant eyes.
For so many years, I would faithfully author my posts for the Real Life. Real God. Blog with the grand expectation they may gratefully land in an email inbox, a welcomed chance for us to sit together by the crackling fire of life.
It literally was the highlight of my week to hit that POST button, knowing the inspiration I received would be shared instantly with so many others.
And then I stopped suddenly. In fact, I haven’t posted to Real Life. Real God. for many years.
So where did the love go? Why did I stop writing to you?
Because I was broken. Broke and broken spirited.
This meant I no longer felt I should be pontificating to you, or anyone else for that matter. I was convinced I had nothing of value to share. Just darkness and confusion.
I was in a ditch, upside down and the wheels were spinning.
What was going on?
The economy had collapsed and it impacted our community especially hard. Home values decreased in half almost overnight. Banks stopped loaning and jacked up their rates.
My business was failing, like so many others in my industry of marketing and advertising, and it took all of my energy and focus just to meet payroll month after month. We made it, and are thriving again today, but it required an extraordinary commitment of resources that were already nearly stripped bare.
I was also totally exhausted and drained. Wiped out. My schedule for the two prior years was working at my business from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m., and racing around in a minivan to cheer my daughters on at soccer, band and lacrosse and school events.
Later in the evening, I would check into my home office from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. to fulfill my book contract, which was a fulfillment of a lifetime dream.
Yet, all of this hard work was worth it, right? The first book of my trilogy, the Heirs of Ireland Series, came out to great reviews. All is good, correct?
That was about the time I received a call from my agent. She informed me my publisher was cancelling its fiction line. The good news was my next two books, which were mostly already finished, would be published to full fruition.
The bad news? Oh…the publisher would be laying off its marketing department and severing its ties to fiction reps. In other words, I spent several years writing novels that weren’t going to make it onto the shelves of many bookstores.
Then there was my church where I served as an Elder during a challenging transition time. I usually offered a minority, not so welcomed, opinion in our discussions, which ended up resulting in the majority deciding to shorten my term of service, telling me basically I was too much of a wreck.
Spiritually outcast to boot!
Finally, my dear, sweet wife informed me she had grown weary of being an entrepreneur’s bride and that we needed to make some serious financial changes…or else.
Yes. Broken. Brokenness.
So as you can imagine, at this time, I heard God plainly speaking, “Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t be giving anyone too much advice.”
Thus, I stopped posting. For a while.
Then I spent the time with God healing my family. Healing my finances. And healing my heart.
And, I must say. Thank you, Jesus.
Sometimes there is nothing better than a solid slap on the side of the head to get your life turned back into the right direction.
The lesson is, even when you think you’re doing great, and that you’re doing good things, you can actually be way off the trail.
So, now, after a lot of thorns in my socks and scrapes on my knees I’m cheerfully on happy trails once again.
In fact, I have been for a few years now.
It’s just, this Real Life. Real God. Blog commitment is a big deal! It’s a LOT of work.
But, you’re worth it, right?
So, I’m back. I’ll be posting updates of many of my favorites of the past years, along with so many new. I can’t wait to share…everything…with you. The cup is overflowing like Yosemite Falls in April.
And…I’ve missed you.
So what do you say we start this journey again? The Real Life. Real God. journey.
Grab a backpack. Invite a friend or two to come along.
There is so much wonder to explore. There are so many wonderful things for us to discuss. Shall we head out?